Dear Parents

You did the sex, now take care of your kids. Yes, it takes a whole village to raise a child, but parents have to do their fair share, and feeding kids is the parents’ role, not the teachers’ role. 

Vaccinate them. That whole autism thing is stupid people not understanding science and statistics. Vaccinations are better than measles epidemics, and polio, tuberculosis. 

Clothe them. They don’t have to wear branded clothes made by little Pakistani slave workers. Opp shops sell good clothes too. And wash the clothes and then iron them. This a chore of course. Boring even. But it’s a parent’s responsibility.

And feed them. They don’t have to eat Thai chicken, coconut, and mango filo pies for lunch. And they shouldn’t eat Big Macs, or Zingers, or Double Whoppers with or without cheesey fries. Not for lunch - or dinner either. And not for breakfast - as if that had to be said. 

Feed them Weet-bix with milk. Feed them rolled oats - ooh, make the porridge with raw rolled oats and milk and top with brown sugar. Even toast is fine. Parents can even teach their kids how to make their breakfast, it not being rocket science. 

Feed them with meat and vegetables. It doesn’t have to be rump steak with a roquefort cheese sauce, with asparagus and imported Chilean squash. Shepherd’s pie, or beef stew is good. Spaghetti is too. Kids should be filled up with vegetables to overflowing (almost). No, they’ll not like spinach or broccoli or Brussels sprouts so call them magic cabbage and tell them that Richie McCaw eats them all the time. Fill them with mashed potato. 

Parents, if there’s no money left after paying the rent and the electricity, and vaccinating, clothing, and feeding your kids, too bad. If it’s a choice between a new Holden and feeding your kids, feed the kids. Kids are expensive, yes.  

Parents, you did the sex, now take care for your kids. 

On April 4, 1999 James Whakaruru was killed by his step father. The Commissioner for Children conducted an inquiry and concluded that government agencies didn’t communicate well enough with each other. But James was killed by his step father not by Plunket, CYF, the Probation Service, or the Family Court. 

If parents do the sex, and then don’t want to care for their kids, or can’t, then someone should. No hand wringing, no angsting about cultural congruity, no hui. no faffing about... just give the boy or girl to parents who want to, and who can care for him or her. 

I think that’s what James would have wanted.