I’m not against dress codes …

A Board of Trustees has a policy on rats’ tails?

I’m not against dress codes, guidelines or policies. I even support schools having uniforms. But all the while remembering that schools’ first priority is to teach kids to read.

There was the boy in our school who had a T-shirt with a Nikesque swoosh that looked like a sperm and the words ‘Just did it’. But no big deal. Take the T-shirt off, turn it inside out or go home. We had a culture of wanting to be at school and learn and so he wore his shirt inside out.

A girl shaved half her head of hair and the other half was below-shoulder length. To accessorise, she’d put a few shiny studs randomly into her face and ears and eye brows, and a hefty bolt with a nut through her nose. I liked that some of her hair was red and some was black – in a Crusaders sort of a way, but she went home for a while to get it all sorted out.

So I’m not against us telling kids how to appear – as a learning exercise of course, in anticipation of workplace dress codes, and in consideration of others who may be offended. And also for safety – such as the boy who came to class wearing a Waikato Chiefs footy jersey. Not around here sonny!

At the same time of course we teach kids that really appearances don’t matter. Body shapes and skin colour don’t determine a person’s goodness – of course. Fat is bad of course, and fat kids must run round the playground and eat nothing until they fit the government-approved body-shape.

But that’s OK. Kids need to learn about ambiguity. I’m reminded of a passionate speech by the deputy head of our school about the profound evil, the affront to human society, common decency and probably a subversive plot to undermine the fragile credibility of traditional family values in our pursuit for excellence in education. He was on about some boys bleaching their hair. That deputy head frequently dyed his own hair to hide his grey hair, which is different.

Good grief – I’d give anything to have a hairstyle like Ma’a Nonu’s, or Tana’s. A rat’s tail – good grief. How about the Board of Trustees having a policy about buying more books for the school lib­rary, or buying some more footballs and volleyballs and tennis balls, or sending whopper hampers of blueberry muffins to the staffroom at morning tea time – with hot chocolate that’s got little marshmallows in it, and whipped cream on the top.

— Peter Giddens