Life is tough …

What good news – ratbag kids being sent to army boot camp. Early morning running, cold showers, basic food, basic living conditions, lessons in essential life skills and good manners, and then more running. It’ll be boarding school for those who should’ve gone to boarding school.

The early morning and I mean before sunrise running will quickly teach them that evenings are best for sleeping rather than being out stealing cars. They’ll go for an evening run too making them want to go to sleep early rather than go out boozing or watching dopey TV. After their running they’ll shower – and they’ll have to use soap. If they do well at boot camp they might even get hot water.

They’ll be taught lessons. And if they’re rude to the instructors, if they misbehave in class, or don’t participate properly, they can always go for another run, or go clean the showers, or go to Paremoremo or Australia.

They’ll learn about basic Economics; that money has to be earned and that you can’t spend more of it than you have.

They’ll learn about civics and rights – that if you’re not civil you lose your rights. And no discussion about rights is right without a discussion about responsibilities.

They’ll learn about food – how to grow it, cook it and eat it. They’ll spend a lot of their day working in gardens and making sheep and cows grow into roast dinners. And they’ll learn how to cook roast dinners, how to invite neighbours to share the meal and how to dine politely and they’ll learn how to clean up  afterwards.

There’ll be no booze, no cigarettes, no marijuana, no TV and no mobile phones. This is boot camp not summer holiday camp.

I think some lessons in world geography and history will be good. When you live in one of the safest most beautiful countries in the world it’s a shame to not appreciate it. It’s not perfect here but it’s better than living in Gaza or Britain or USA. Our greatest danger is from ratbag car hoons, thieves and muggers, ie boot camp students.

They’ll learn how to clean and iron clothes – and how to dress respectfully.

If they do well in these basics they can perhaps move to Phase 2, in which they are allowed to play rugby, league, soccer or cricket. These will teach them such things as reliability, honesty, trust and sportsmanship – and showing respect for the referee. And they’ll learn how to win and lose graciously.

Unlike prison, there’ll be no sentences. They’ll be released only when they’ve earned the right and accepted the responsibility.

Tough isn’t it? Just like everyone else’s life.

— Peter Giddens