Record number of complaints . . .

Apparently last year saw a record number of complaints to the Teachers’ Council – but most were vexatious whines from parents of brats.

Few know though that there were almost a squillion complaints by teachers to the Parents’ Council. It seems that a record number of parents sent kids to school with dirty clothes, dirty shoes, dirty hair.

There was an increase in the number of parents who wrote dishonest notes excusing kids from PE, homework and assignment deadlines. Some kids had five grandparents die all in the same term – according to the kids’ parents.

Last year there was a record number of parents who said aloud ‘but education is supposed to be free’. This coincided with an increase in the number of parents buying lotto tickets, poking coins into pokies and betting on the footy.

There was also a marked increase in the number of kids coming to school with tattoos, face piercings and T-shirts with rude things written on them. And there was a similar increase in the number of parents who, when questioned about their kids’ appearance, said ‘it’s not my fault, teachers get too many holidays and anyway, my benefit isn’t enough so whattya gonna do boutit?’

Shirts weren’t tucked in. Socks weren’t pulled up. Shoes weren’t tied properly. Some kids even wore shoes with Velcro – ik! Some children had salt&vinegar chips for their lunch. Some parents handed pizza and fish & chips to kids through the school fence. I know – I was gob-smacked to read that one. Some parents even sent their kids to school without any lunch at all.

Some parents, and this may come as a shock to readers, actually demonstrated poor role model behaviour: excessive drinking, smoking marijuana and saying that it’s less harmful than coffee, not reading a book all year, not working all year, and some even stayed up very late on school nights.

There were complaints to the Parents’ Council about some parents watching violent movies, picking their noses and even scratching themselves inappropriately. I know – I was appalled. They should be struck off.

So – although the number of complaints about teachers might seem alarming, I’m a lot more alarmed at the state of parenting in our country. I’m sure, though, that research is under way to see exactly why it’s the fault of teachers.

— Peter Giddens