Weighty issues, but . . .

I know that Gaza is a problem, and the Taliban and the world’s economic situation and the Rugby World Cup and Official Cash Rate – these are all weighty issues, but (and call me shallow if you want), I’m certain I spend more of my thinking time trying to decide whether mushroom ravioli in a creamy Gorgonzola sauce with a big fat glass of Chianti will be better than Veggie samosas, Malai Kofte in cashew sauce, Kashmiri Chaman in tomato sauce, and lemon rice, with butter naans and a few glasses of mango lassi. But it’s this debate that often gets me through the last two lessons of a crappy day overladen with smelly teenagers, dimwit bosses and brainless NCEA bumpf – if you’ll excuse my frankness.

Sometimes I spend ages trying to decide between Brie or Camembert? Stilton or Gorgonzola? Will I have walnuts or cashews with my cheese board this evening – and dried figs or dried apricots – not to ignore the possibility of prunes – and frankly, why not have them all?

Chardonnay or Reisling or should it be red in which case is it merlot, cabernet, cabernet-merlot or something adventurous or even risky like an unpronounceable red from Montenegro?

Colleagues, meanwhile, are angsting over a merit or an excellent grade and there I am fretting over what will go in to my stomach. I prefer my stress to have a more delicious origin.
And because I’m a founding member of ‘There’s Never Anything Good on TV Except Perhaps the Vicar of Dibley Club’ I’ll be reading my evening away but no I’ll not be brushing up on the Ed Gazette.

And that, you know of course, brings more deciding: Paul Theroux’s The Elephanta Suite? The James Cook Journals? Leonardo Da Vinci The First Scientist? India, the South Pacific or Italy? Probably the Venerable Teachers’ Council would prefer I spent my evening reading textbooks or something on current teaching practices but I can’t, and I can’t help my shallowness.

And for pudding – because I like to have pudding later in the evening, as a reward for successfully getting to 10.00 p.m. without going up the wall because of technology, for not frothing rabid at the thought of NCEA and the pursuit of excellence, or going just a tad insane over the current staffroom debate (red or not-red when marking kids’ books) – for all that, I like a pudding bowl full of…

What will it be? Microwaved tamarilloes with stand-the-spoon-up thick yellow custard? Apple crumble with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce? Steamed ginger pudding? Lemon meringue pie? Or there’s a self-saucing chocolate pudding that, if served with raspberries, that sends me off to a blissful and righteous sleep.

— Peter Giddens