Bathing in the Ganges

Teacher-student exchanges with Indian schools. I don’t think Lyn means swapping our old raggy maths teachers for a dozen or so hard-working, vegetarian, spin-bowling Indian kids (unfortunately). It’s probably about exchanging teaching strategies, classroom management techniques, curriculum models and assessment philosophies – all as useful as a cricket bat without a ball. Forget that stuff – go for the food.

Imagine – instead of boiled cauliflower, in North India they make up a sauce of onion, garlic, cloves, root ginger, cinnamon, oil, curry powder and a heap of juicy over-ripe tomatoes. Then they fry loads of cauliflower and add it to the sauce. Just before they serve it they add chopped cashews and raisins.

Instead of ‘just’ mashed potatoes they add garam masala, coconut, root ginger, lime juice, chopped chillies and turmeric, roll it into balls and deep-fry it. In the spirit of exchange, you might even exchange potato for kumara. You’re probably thinking ‘deep-fry’ is a bad word now but it’s not illegal – yet, so do it while you still can.

Down in the south, I mean around the Tamil Nadu area not Invercargill, they make Lassi which is even easier than whining about ERO. You need full-fat yoghurt (good luck finding that), iced-water, cold milk, ground cardamom seeds and then some peeled and mashed mangoes or bananas – and a kitchen whiz.

Out near Gujarat on the Pakistan border, they’ll show you how to make Saag Paneer – curried spinach with cottage cheese. The correct cheese might be difficult to get here – ask at the dairy, unless it’s been closed by the Food Gestapo for selling chocolate fish and salt & vinegar chips to kids.

Chop the cheese into inch cubes and fry it til it’s crispy. Add some onion, garlic, and chillies. Some of each is just enough. Then add the spinach. Lots is about right. Then add some nutmeg and garam masala. Whistle an innocent tune as you nonchalantly smuggle in, under the cover of darkness and the threat of castration, some double-cream. Eat the double-cream carton so as to destroy the evidence. Add a load of finely chopped mint.

Try this… mint leaves, green chillies, coconut, root ginger, garlic, salt and sugar – kitchen whiz. You’ll never put tomato sauce on your mashed potato again.

So go on, get off to India on an exchange. Bathe in the Ganges. Purge the toxic NCEA muck out of you. Bring back recipes, adventure stories and big grins because it’s these (not Masters degrees and lesson plans and assessment schedules) that make good teachers for our kids.