yppaH aixelsyD!

Dis week is dyslexia awareness week. As if any teacher needs to be made any more aware of dys-anything. In the past few years I've had excuse notes from various parents and doctors and psychologists and car mecahnics requesting I make due allowance for Johnny, Rupert and Sky for their dyslexia, dysgraphia, dispraxia, dysentery, dyspepsia, disrespect and dis little piggy went to market and dis little piggy stayed at home and oops, dis-tracted.

There's much disinformation and disbelief and disagreement about dyslexia. The Americans use the word to describe any reading problem while the Brits use it for the problem of reversing words, sounds, letters, directions and shoes.
The pseudo-psychs attribute it to left-brain right-brain issues but my Nana would've said something about a solid ruler across the knuckles. Not that I would – fo esruoc.

I'm concerned about the rise in petrol prices and mortgage interest rates and the range of dys-excuses. "It wasn't my fault, Your Honour. It was my dyslexia. When I said 'I'm taking your car' what I meant was 'I'm giving you my car'." "And the tagging Your Honour. It was my dysgraphia and my dysrespect for other people and their property."
"And when I said 'yes' I meant 'no' and when you say 'guilty as charged' I'll think that means 'not guilty, do it again sunshine.'"

Dyslexia I can cope with. Actually if they just said 'Johnny's parents didn't teach him to read and his useless teachers didn't fix the mess up and so now he can't read', that would be fine too. There's a lot of joy in raw honesty.But saying Johnny must get special consideration in his NCEA assessments due to his dys-interest, dys-illusionment, dys-obedience and dys-gusting personal hygiene just makes me feel disillusioned, disappointed and in need of disinfectant.

And I'm Ok with dysgraphia too. I can't draw so I clearly have it. There are art galleries full of works done by dysgraphics. I also have dys-guitar-playing and dys-regular-exercise and dys-healthy-eating and dysorganisation. One day there'll be pills for these things but for the meantime a note from the doctor will suffice.

Some our school's kids, hitherto considered snotty brats, are now much better understood; their gifts and talents much more appreciated. Now that we accept disrespect and dishonesty and disgusting displays of bad manners as being genuine disorders. Now that we know and understand and appreciate and celebrate these scholars, they too can have an NCEA with fries, to take away.

woN s'ereh na gnitseretni gniht. eW lla nac daer sdrawkcab tuohtiw hcum ytluciffid. oS ebyam aixelsyd t'nsi os dab.

The real psychologists are busy trying to find the source of all these new dys-es. Nature or nurture? Environment or physiology? Dog forbid that we blame genetics or poor parenting, but what about dis-semmination?

yppaH aixelsyD enoyreve.